blogs. blogged. will blog.

Welcome to the party.
And whatnot :D 

ask and you shall receive
(please allow 2-7 business days for shipping)
(not that kind of shipping)
(also it’s android!Wheatley because I don’t give him enough love)
(aw hell I’m rambling here’s your fic)

———————————————————-

How Aperture Science Innovators came to be in possession of an underground petting zoo was beyond Wheatley’s knowledge. All he knew was that the employees, and their children, certainly seemed to enjoy it. So one day he decided, hey, why not take a look-see at what the humans were on about?

Sneaking away from his ‘handlers’ had been easy enough. They really didn’t care much about what he got into, as long as he kept out of their business and didn’t break anything. In fact it wasn’t unusual for them to let him wander off and deal with the consequences himself. Wheatley didn’t mind, for all the times he had been caught and scolded.

Plus, this would be worth it. He’d never seen any animals up close, only in pictures and movies, and he was greatly looking forward to it. Though he really had no idea what animals in particular there would be down there. Personally, he was hoping for a lemur or maybe a black panther. Either one would be absoultely fantastic.

When Wheatley arrived at the correct floor, he poked his head tentatively out of the elevator. It was late, around two in the morning if the old clock in the elevator was to be believed, and no one was in sight. The lanky android grinned conspiratorially and crept out of the elevator, glad that he didn’t have to adhere to a sleep cycle.

It was a simple matter of pressing his palm against the console of the locked gate to get inside. If Wheatley had been aware of what a heist movie was, he would have felt as if he were in one at that moment. The gate clicked open and with a snicker slipped inside, shutting it behind him.

Most of the animals were asleep, so Wheatley was sure to be quiet. If they were anything like humans, they wouldn’t enjoy being woken up. So for a while he just stood and grinned, cataloging in his mind the different species he saw there.

Goat. Chicken. Pony, he listed, somehow managing to keep himself quiet. That was when he heard it. Some strange sort of sound behind him. A sort of squawk. Wheatley froze with fear, before slowly, painfully slowly, twisting his neck around to glance over his shoulder.

“Gah!” he yelped, jumping at the sight of the massive bird behind him, staring right into his eyes. His hands flew to his mouth and he looked around quickly to see if the other animals had woken up at the noise. Thankfully, they hadn’t. Wheatley let his hands slide down and anxiously watched the bird. 

It’s head bobbed from side to side as it regarded the android, and Wheatley couldn’t help but sway to follow it’s movements, like a cobra being led by a snake charmer. When he was certain it wasn’t going to attack, he lifted a hand in greeting. “Hello.” he said quietly, uncertainly. It flapped it’s wings at him and he wondered if it was trying to wave back. Wheatley laughed slightly at the thought.

The strangest thing about it was that he had to look up to meet it’s eye. Wheatley was no diminutive man—er, android, rather. He was a good six and a half feet tall, but the bird was somehow taller. At least, it was, until it ducked it’s long neck down, placed it’s beak directly in Wheatley’s face and gave a squawk.

“Er, wow, you’re very…friendly,” he murmured with an amused smirk. He probably should have been afraid of it. Hell, any other animal getting so bold with him probably would have scared him half to death. But this one…he felt an odd kinship with. Perhaps it was the fact that it was just as awkward, lanky and tall as he was. Slowly he reached out and patted the creature on top of the head. It was surprisingly soft. “Aw, you’re not so bad, are you?” he said quietly, rubbing it’s head slightly. It seemed pretty pleased with this.

“I wonder if you like being kept in here,” Wheatley thought aloud. “It looks like they feed you, keep you happy…but would you rather be outside? Doing what you please?” he said, tilting his head to the side. His eyes softened a bit. “Hm. You’re a lot like me, huh? You’re content where you are but—” he gasped and jumped a bit at the sound of the elevator arriving behind him. Someone was down here? At this hour? Must have been the maintenance man. Wheatley gave the confused animal a last pat before creeping out of the pens.

Naturally, the clumsy android was caught, and, subsequently, restricted from access to good deal of the facility. Strangely enough, though, not the petting zoo. So, whenever he could manage, he would sneak down to the pens and visit his animal friend.

His only friend.

At least, for a while.

i’m actually mildly okay at writing

i am terrible at doodling but have the sudden urge to do so.

ughhhhhghhhh i am bad at decisions ;-;

i need to look for child actors so i can make mock casting recommendations for my script analysis class but googling ‘child actors’ makes me feel like a total pedo.
;-; 

desertblessingoceancurse:

when your friend comes over but all you do is sit next to each other and use the internet

true friendship

(Source: notametaphor)

momoneymoboolits:

doktorengine:

momoneymoboolits:

I’d love to do another Storytime with Momo, but my voice is a little weeble-wobble tonight because of my cold. I can still do a bit, though.

Either that or I can stream Metropolis.

Which would you guys rather?

(Katie, we are still going to co-op later. Promise.)

metropolis like the anime?

I AM SO IN

Metropolis like the old silent film.

THAT MOVIE. UNF. If I didn’t have things to do tonight I would be SO IN.
tis so beautiful…<3 

Ohhh, I yam sorry Katie ;-;
I’m used to calling internet people by their internet monikers.
You shall be Katie forevermore. <3 

wheelu:

wheatley said MAN ALIVE as he put his peen into her vag

dammit wheelu xD